Ah yes, Whack-A-Mole.  Smack one and another pops up in seconds.  Once the thrill of a generation, now an archaic amusement, Whack-A-Mole seems to be the new political model for passing unpopular legislation.

A ski-ball queen personally, I never had the tenacity for Whack-A-Mole.  I found those glossy plastic faces with their buggy eyes and chipped paint visually disturbing, and that fact that I was ultimately unable to suppress them was downright frustrating.  In the case of the nation, however, throwing in the mallet and walking away from the buck-toothed buggers is not an option.

Just when we thought it was safe to breathe a sigh of relief, with the Keystone Pipeline checked off our list, up pops another of those sniveling little grins, but not a mole…  In Washington, we get weasels.

With the pipeline put on hold until the year 2013 for further investigation of its safety, routing possibilities, and so forth, the Koch gophers (pronounced: go-fors), also known as Sentorus Electedia, are burrowing through the walls of legality, morality, and basic human conscience to push forward with this highly unpopular project.  They are attempting to attach the pipeline bill to totally unrelated legislation, and their primary target for this maneuver is the bill to extend the Payroll Tax Cut to the middle class.

I’m sure you can guess who is behind this brilliant plan to hold the nation hostage for the benefit of two Canadian billionaires, but in case you’re struggling to come up with an answer I’ll give you a clue.  He’s invested hundreds of thousands of dollars into the project, and what he hasn’t sunk into its eventual capital gains he spends on spray tan.

If you guessed Republican Speaker of the House John Boehner, you’re paying attention.  Speaker Boehner, though he is the individual standing at the helm of this particular matter, is only 1/535^th of the problem.  We have 534 other members of Congress who are not so unlike Speaker Boehner.  Granted, some may be more honest than others.  Heck, with Senators like Bernie Sanders as evidence, I’d even say there are some who act in what they believe is truly the best interest and in direct representation of their constituents.  The trouble is that they are largely outnumbered.

Without the party lines that separate them publicly, the vast majority of Congressional elects are no more different from one another than the moles in the machine.  Sure, they might have some distinguishing marks – a fracture here or there, a chip of paint, a splash of color.  And, yes, they may be popping up from different holes distinguishable by their “position.”  But under that reinforced façade of well varnished plastic, they are all driven by the same engine, guided in and out of position by the same mechanisms, and paid for on the same dime.

Like the infamous pests of hardworking toilers everywhere, these men and women dug into every recess of the nation, and designed for themselves a network of tunnels so intricate and so well concealed that they fancy themselves unbeatable.  All they have to do is screw on that artificial smile and pop up for a quick public appearance at the appropriate time and place, and then they are able to duck right back down into their covert bunkers and continue their work of hobnobbing and hoarding.

Now, without shame or even the courtesy of deception, these political vermin aim to manipulate our system, undermine the authority of the citizens whom they were elected by and to serve, and force upon our nation and its people an eventual environmental disaster the world has never known.  It is a brazen abuse of power, atrocious misconduct, and it spits in the face of every man, woman, and child who sits outside of the offices we have given them in good faith.

For far too long we have allowed the men and women who represent this nation to conduct their business as though they are in charge.  They are not.  We are.  And every passing moment that we are not taking direct action to engage these apostates, to threaten them with impeachment and legal consequences for that which is by definition treason, and to combat their systematic undermining of our ultimate authority is a moment that we fail to fulfill the responsibility handed down to us by our forefathers, responsibilities necessary to maintain the benefits of our democratic union.

For now, we are stuck playing Whack-A-Mole, beating them back one piece of legislation at a time.  Like smashing wildly at the heads of those incredibly elusive targets, we defeat one objective only to have another pop up within seconds.  The trick to winning the game?  Speed?  Accuracy?  Nah, grab some friends and some things to smash with.  There is a great advantage to team play.  The moles might consider it cheating, but I’m pretty sure the original rule book refers to it as “uniting.”

Keep smacking.  Guaranteed the machine breaks down before we do.

For more on Speaker Boehner’s personal investment in the Keystone Pipeline: http://politicalcorrection.org/blog/201201180005